THEATRE: Go Back for Murder (Market Harborough)

Following our last visit to Harborough theatre (for the brilliant '39 Steps') we returned with a soupcon of trepidation for an adaption of an Agatha Christie novel. Mostly this was because theatres have a nasty habit of 'messing about' with Mrs Christie's works and making a pigs ear of it in the process. Thankfully this production was well engineered and didn't cause any snorts of derision from Rose, but it was a tad long and the scene shifters were a bit hopeless, taking eight times as long as necessary to reposition a vase two inches to the left of where it was in the previous scene.

We couldn't get our customary back row seats, but fortunately we did get an aisle seat which meant I could at least straighten out my dodgy leg. My backside was still numb by the end though and the aircon was notable by it's absence. 

The raffle prizes were fairly unexciting but we still bought two tickets, at least we weren't disappointed when we didn't win a compendium of games, a bottle of Rose or a box od Terry's All Gold!

SHOPPING: Bicester Village

Finally Rich and I made our long overdue and much discussed trip to the TAG shop, and an interesting trip it was too. I decided to take the lead and show Rich how it's done, since I knew he would be rather hesitant to ask to try things on. So I went straight to the most expensive watch in the shop and asked to try on the Monaco 24Hr.

I saw this on my last visit, but didn't try it on. After trying on the other Monaco last time and being disappointed, I was almost hoping that trying this one on would 'put it to bed' so to speak... but unfortunately all it did was make me want it. Which is a bit of a problem because they are currently £6100 (which is a huge discount on the list price of £10,625... but still a lot of bloody money!). Looks like I'm going to be hammering eBay for the foreseable future then.

After much prompting and hovering, Rich finally took the plunge and asked to try on a different Monaco, a very unusual silver faced model that neither of us had seen before. 

This was a limited edition from about five years ago, it looked pretty cool but when Rich put it on it did look a little big on his wrists, and rather chunky too, which was unexpected. Rich also tried on a special edition Automobile Club of Monaco 'Monaco' (not the one I tried on last time though), which was nicer (to my eyes). 

But Rich seemed more taken with the first one and went back to trying that one on. I wandered around the shop several times before eventually managing to drag him away from the desperate salesman trying to persuade him to part with nigh on £3000 that he hasn't yet got. The same salesman (I might add) who confidently told me that the figures at the bottom of the 24Hr Monaco were the hour display for the chronograph (clearly the f**king date!). Jesus Christ.

After leaving the TAG Heuer shop we stumbed upon another place called 'L'Atelier' which sold several brands of watches, most notably 'Eterna', 'Mervado', 'Baume and Mercier' and a lot of cheap and nasty 'Rotary' nonsense. They also had some pre-owned watches, including a Cartier Tank and several Breitlings, but nothing tremendously exciting.

They also had one epic watch in a wall cabinet, a Porsche Design model that was on sale at half price, just £67,250! What a bargain... if only it wasn't so damned ugly.

Finally we popped into Mont Blanc to check out their watch selection. It wasn't as 'dull' as I'd expected, indeed there were a fair few 'funky' (to a point) pieces, but they were largely unappealing. Perhaps they should stick to selling overpriced writing instruments and roof-racks (no I'm not making that up).

MEAL OUT: The King's Arms (Wing)

Another visit to the Rutland area, this time to the King's Arms in Wing. Quite a nice place, a nice mixture of traditional pub and spacious restaurant. One slight bone of contention was the table legs being in the way, but it wasn't the end of the world. Lee and Su had starters (Lee's looked a main such was the volume of meat on the plate) while I attacked the bread and butter (which was delicious). Rose and I both had burger with skinny fries, the burger was very nice, but the fries were a bit overdone so I had to eat them with my fingers. Problem is, when they are overdone like that they are pretty tasteless, should have sent them back.

There was in interesting looking '4-nut' brownie on the menu, which I quite fancied the look of, but we were all stuffed, even though I didn't eat all my chips. And I was buggered if I was going to be the only one eating a pudding. It was during this meal that we discovered that Lee and Su aren't against cakes and the like, since they are apparently devouring a horrendous quantity of homemade cheesecakes! We asked if they liked flapjacks and Lee's eyes lit up at the mention of fudge as an ingredient. :)

GIG: Mesh (Sheffield)

Thanks to a very smooth journey indeed, we arrived about 5 minutes into Empathy Test's set. They were okay and the singer has a decent voice, but they sound a bit one dimensional and stuck in the 80s. Think 80's John Cusack movie soundtrack song and you won't be far off...

Aesthetic Perfection got a bit of a rough deal tonight it seems, with a set that lasted barely more than thirty minutes. It was a shame since Daniel seemed in a good mood and I was very pleased to hear no less than three classic 'Necessary Response' tunes aired. The sound on the first song was a bit ropey, but they seemed to sort it out after that. Unusual track of the night was 'The Little Death' from 'All Beauty Destroyed'... which turned out not to be the new single after all!

And so to Mesh, who frankly had a LOT to live up to given the stellar gig in London last January... and weren't helping their cause by seemingly playing 99% of the new album, an album which has received mixed reactions around these parts so far! I have to say it fell somewhat short of that magical London gig, the lack of older material really didn't help, and when they did play 'Hold it Together' it sounded rather odd. To be fair, Mesh were good, but they weren't 'great' and personally I thought Aesthetic Perfection were the better band on the night. Two hours for Mesh was probably pushing it as well, especially given the amount of slow songs they played...

HOLIDAY: Premier Inn (Exeter)

Rose decided it would be a great idea to get up very early so as to avoid the M42 at rush hour, which in hindsight proved to be a frightfully good idea, but it was with a heavy heart that I set my alarm clock for 5:30AM, a time previously unknown to me or to anyone with a modicum of sense (except perhaps milkpeople).

We couldn’t face eating breakfast at that time of the morning so we elected instead to avail ourselves of the utterly splendid Gloucester Farm Shop services between junction 11a and 12 of the M5. We left home at about 6:15AM and were enjoying a cinnamon bun (Rob) and bread rolls (Rose) by 8AM.

We then headed to Powderham Castle (with a quick stop off in the seven fingered village of Kenton – to post a pile of eBay parcels), we arrived there at about eleven, just in time to catch the first tour of the day. Powderham Castle is a tad on the small side and a mish-mash of styles, ranging from the original 17^th Century construction, to the additions made by the Victorians.

Our guide, David (a frustrated TV historian) managed to spin out about 8 rooms into a 75 minute broadcast, highlights of which included a number of hidden doors and a meeting with the Earl of Devon himself, who was in the process of hiding a dead polar bear from the prying eyes of Country Life (frightfully un PC these days to have dead animals about the place you know…).

(Interestingly, I noticed a photo portrait of the Earl with his wife in the castle and was surprised by her looks, some investigation proved I was right to be suspicious, as it turns out the lady in question is former Baywatch babe AJ Langer).

After the tour reached its climax in the kitchen with the salt crusher, we were left to our own devices and we took the opportunity to view the rose gardens (not many roses) and the chapel. On the way in to the chapel we were invited to sample a mulberry from (what we assumed to be) a mulberry bush. It was okay, pretty much what you’d expect from a berry – somewhat similar to a blackberry.

Having enjoyed a very agreeable light lunch of sandwiches (Rob) and baked potato (Rose) we headed off to the walled garden and petting zoo. There we were enchanted by the antics of two chipmunks, a large tortoise named Tessa, a somewhat persistent turkey, some speedy chickens and a rat in a hammock. Seriously…

Having exhausted the delights of the castle and grounds, we headed into Exeter and checked in to our room at the Premier Inn. This done we went off into the city to check out the buzz and to find a place for dinner. Having looked in more than a few jewellers windows we descended into the basement premises of ‘Chaucers’, here we chanced upon a delightful bar and restaurant complete with mirrored / lighted booths.

We felt quite at home and enjoyed a couple of drinks there before deciding that we would indeed return for dinner. But first it was back to the Premier Inn for a bit of chillin’ and a shower. We went back to Chaucers and had a nice meal the highlights of which were the puddings: gingerbread cheesecake (Rob) and orange stock (Rose).

As the bar was closing at nine we decanted to the street where stumbled off to John Gandy’s in search of a cocktail. Despite the website assuring us that it did cocktails in their fancy upstairs bar, when we arrived it was closed. So much for the internet…

After looking elsewhere we eventually decided to head to Coal where we had cocktails: Pina Coaloda (Rob) and Love on the Rocks (Rose). The PC was pretty good, the LOTR was okay, but because it was on special offer we ended up with two and it was one too many.

We decided to call it a night after that and headed back to the hotel. The room was a bit hot and I (in particular) found that the room smelt of something strange (either mould or some kind of cleaning fluid).

When we woke up in the morning, my throat was pretty rough and I had this horrible taste in my mouth that took half the day to shift. But enough of my petty whinging, we had the unpleasant surprise that it was raining to contend with.

As it was raining, we decided the smart thing to do was to visit Kents Cavern. We arrived at about 11:30 and had to wait half an hour for the next tour. There wasn’t much to do in the meantime other than glare at the child making an exhibition of itself in the foyer.

Having relieved us of £20 pounds for the privilege of sharing an underground cave with 48 other people (including the aforementioned ill-behaved bastard child and one and a half guides -Becky was still in training after three years on the job, her Mila Kunis looky-likey career having tanked spectacularly) we were treated to an interesting, if somewhat repetitive journey through a number of remarkably similar looking caves. It was okay, but if you’ve seen one cave then you’ve seen them all.

We left Kents Cavern with the sound of thunder on the horizon and in true British fashion, ventured undaunted to the English Riveria (such as it is) and the hilarious named Ba-ba-Coombe (say it like Ba-ba-dook). Due to a wholly unnecessary level of road closures it took some time to get to the beach, which was also down an incredible steep and windy road. We took a wrong turn and after reversing out of a pissed off locals driveway, we finally arrived at our destination. Just as it started to rain again.

Being a clever sort, we had scouted out the marginally underwhelming Cary Arms, which was right by the beach. Supposedly award winning (though for exactly what it is unknown), the service was pretty poor while the food was passable (Rose) quite nice (Rob). Unable to face the inevitable aeon wait for a pudding we decided to depart, but not before running the gauntlet of the bill, which had been misplaced… which in the end played to our advantage as we only ended up paying for one of our drinks.

We mooched along the (very) short beach (made of pebbles) and took the bridge to Oddicombe beach (at this point it started thundering in the distance - possibly out to sea) and then rode the funicular up the hill and down again, before retracing our steps back to the car park (stopping along the way to take this rather ‘haunting’ picture). 

While we were riding the funicular, the weather really kicked off with a huge downpour, and we would later learn that down the road in Cornwall they had some serious storms with some very bad flooding.

After negotiating the very steep and winding road once again we set off towards the ‘model village’ which turned to be rather larger (in both size and expenditure) than we had anticipated. Still, what price memories?

The model village claimed a recommended visitation period of 90mins, which we of course roundly scoffed at, but not as much as we scoffed at the idea of paying £1.95 for a visitors brochure (on top of the frankly villainous £10.95 entrance fee).

“Why don’t you wear a mask,” I said to the man behind the till (not really, in fact I’ve only just thought of it. Sadly).

The model was quite good, as these things go, but despite its impressive size, after the first 45 mins you kind of feel like you’ve seen it all really and after that it was just more of the same. Thankfully they saved the best for last, that being a fire breathing dragon, which was pretty cool and nearly as fun as the cat which was hanging around looking for fuss.

I must admit, you could indeed spend a good 90 minutes looking around the model village, indeed you could spend an awful lot longer as there is an awful lot to see… if you can be arsed. We couldn’t and fortunately we had paid for a limited amount of parking, not realising the colossal scale of the model village. Besides it was getting very warm and the lure of the air conditioned van was becoming greater with every sweaty second.

We returned to our hotel once more (via Sainsburys) and had a shower, then headed first to the hotel bar (very nicely decorated, with excellent seating, but staff of limited expertise when it came to identifying a dry white wine from the selection available). Then we went off to The Royal Clarence Hotel where we had a cocktail on our last visit to Exeter. The place had been done up a bit, but had maintained its complete lack of atmosphere, albeit carried off in a rather classy manner.

NB- The Royal Clarence Hotel was badly damaged by a fire just a few months later.

We drank up and headed back towards the hotel, only to be seduced by the pink lighting into visiting the ‘Mercure’ hotel. There was a cocktail list, but the barman didn’t seem to know a lot and we feared his cocktail mixing abilities may be less than accomplished. Besides which, the bar reeked of fish, and we didn’t really fancy it.

So we ended up at the Cosy Club, which is a bit of an oddball place, channelling the spirit of Cuba or somewhere similar… the décor was a curious mixture of decadence and squalor, with beautiful animal busts mounted on scruffy walls with industrial lighting. Here we tried a cocktail called a Solero, which was a nice idea but rather too ‘alcoholic’ for my liking really.

And so to bed, after watching an episode each of Yes Minister and Allo Allo… staggering to report, easily the funniest thing on the television that evening.On Wednesday morning we took a stroll into the town once more, and after round in circles – questioning why there was two of every shop, we popped into John Lewis where we found a rather nice necklace for Rose. We also had a look in the window of Michael Spiers (the local Rolex AD) which had a number of nice watches, including the TAG Heuer Monza, the Tudor Gran Tour and the grey Tudor Pelagos on a rubber strap. Nice!

Finally it was time to go home (after a quick visit to M&S to purchase extra buns for the journey), which was uneventful until we got to Corley services. The motorway was closed between junction 2 and the M1 so the traffic ground to a halt. Fortunately we were able to leave the services by the back door and though it took longer than expected to get home it was probably still an awful lot quicker than waiting on the motorway in a massive queue in 28degree heat!

MEAL OUT: The Barge Inn (Woolstone near Milton Keynes)

A fine alternative to a faceless 'dining experience' in the MK Centre, the Barge Inn was 'okay'. It wasn't amazing, but we weren't expecting it to be. It's a chain pub so you know what sort of thing you are going to get. We both had the burger, which came with a half inch thick slice of bacon and cheese. The chips were quite nice, the burger was okay. It was perfectly fine. The carrot cake cheesecake on the other hand, was exceptional, and even better since it was missed off the bill.

SHOPPING: Milton Keynes Centre

We don't tend to go to Milton Keynes very often, we seem to favour Meadowhall these days... but MK is a fair bit closer and does have most of the same shops. We spent quite a while in John Lewis, and purchased a couple of towels and a battery powered pepper grinder.

Elsewhere we browsed Goldsmiths, Beaverbrooks and Ernest Jones, but it wasn't until we got to Fraser Hart that we hit the proverbial jackpot, since they stocked the diamond bezel star dialed Omega Constellation that Rose has been hankering after for a good while now. It was a very nice watch indeed, but for sure Iconic will sell it £600 cheaper and not to mention that the bracelet had a nasty scratch on it...

I couldn't really see anything very exciting, even the orange Oris has lost its appeal somewhat. I do like the strap, but the watch itself isn't special enough (for me) to warrant the £1200 price tag.