DAY OUT: London

 

After a super busy October we really could have done without a trip to London this week, but tickets had been bought (thank Christ I hadn't bought a ticket to see Fear Factory the day before!) and off we went again. Thankfully it was a lot cooler than our last visit to London, but annoyingly it wasn't quite warm enough to wear just a shirt. Plus it was supposed to rain later... 

Due to engineering works affecting the services to Rugby we reverted to the Northampton line and that side of things ran pretty smoothly. Arriving at Euston we took the tube to Bayswater and then walked through Kensington Gardens, eventually stumbling across the palace and following the signs to the exhibition. Or we thought we did. After a circuit of the sunken garden we realised we needed to go back out and come in the next entrance... and join the queue. Well the Trip Advisor reviews did say the signage was piss poor.

The queue was pretty big as the exhibition was sold out, but fortunately we timed it quite well so at least we were near the head of the line. But we stood there for some time, waiting patiently (me) and impatiently (Rose), listening to the real-life Mumsnet drama being recounted in front of us until finally we were motioned inside. Woooo!

The palace itself is less than overwhelmingly impressive, it seems rather plain actually. Grand in scale, but surprisingly modestly decorated and lacking the expected grandiose mirrors, marble fireplaces etc. It did however have one very cool staircase which was perhaps the highlight of the whole visit.

Well I don't know who put this show together, but it was pretty scatty - consisting of a few pieces from hundreds of years ago, alongside lots of very recent costumes from the Met Ball, bridged by about one dress from the 1960s. Much was made of Billy Porter... way too much, considering I hadn't got a fucking clue who he is. I ended up getting my phone out and Googling him since the exhibition didn't bother to explain why he was so famous. Turns out he is a Broadway musical star... and more recently host of a TV show called 'Pose'. 

Predictably, he wasn't the only 'letter person' being celebrated in this exhibition. I mean I know 'fashion' is kind of their wheelhouse and all that but seriously, do we constantly have to make everything all about them? 

Mask worn by Lady Gaga

3M wide court dress

Katy Perry's candelabra dress

Honestly there were good bits to the exhibition, but at times it seemed very disjointed and pointless and in places incredibly cramped. The pieces could have been spread out more as well, making it easier to see them rather than walking through empty spaces to get to the next cramped displays. I had to laugh though, because at one point I came across this huge costume and my first thought was that it was something to do with Henry VIII, but then I saw the flute and realised it was actually Lizzo's dress. Hahaha. 

We visited the jewel room, which was okay... a couple of nice tiaras in there, and then briefly visited Queen Victoria's childhood rooms. This was pretty lame honestly and so we took our leave, walking through the endless park until we finally got to the other end and honed in on the Sound Cafe at the Cumberland Hotel.

 

Predictably we ordered the Fried Chicken Burger again, but unfortunately we neglected to ask for no mayo in the bun and so it came slopped with the stuff (which we tried to scrape off, but it's difficult). Still the chicken and fried chicken were lovely and we shared the strawberry cheesecake again, which is massive and very rich. We were going to have a cocktail, but after the cheesecake we felt a bit stuffed and since we didn't want to stay in London too long we decided to make our way to the TAG Heuer boutique on Oxford Street to see the new watches.

We stopped in to Selfridges to use the facilities and found a wall full of Bearbricks... no idea what the fuck they are supposed to be, but I am reliably informed it was one of those things that took off during the pandemic. Seems to be the usual story of people collecting them as investments and of course they only make so many... a shame really as I thought they were quite fun until I found out it was all just another bullshit Ponzi scheme. 

Pleasantly surprised to see a table full of watch books, but bemused to know who is going to buy the DeBethune book, they don't even have a distributor in the UK for their watches! There were more books behind these, HUGE books featuring subjects like Cartier. Really, really cool, but absolutely impractical and a pain in the ass to store anywhere. I guess you need the lifestyle and the millionaire coffee table to put them on.

As we emerged back onto Oxford Street we bristled at the number of people we encountered, Saturday afternoon around here is way too busy for our liking, so we popped into the Victorinox boutique for a moment and then headed off home. We have to come back to London again before Christmas anyway for the Banksy exhibition, and we shall definitely be coming during the week!

GIG: Destruction / Whiplash (Wolverhampton)

My last time seeing Destruction was way back in 2014 (Sound Control in Manchester), and while I probably would have gone to see them here at KKs Steel Mill, what initially attracted me to this gig was the fact that Razor were supposed to support them. Unfortuantely, between me buying a ticket and the date of the event Razor's singer had heart problems and their guitarist hurt his hand, so... instead Whiplash were drafted in as a replacement. Not a terrible change, but I would have 1000% preferred to see Razor again... oh well.

Arriving at the venue, it was immediately impressive. KK really did a fantastic job setting up this venue, it's the perfect size, the perfect layout, ample toilets... if only this could be replicated around the country. Incredible! Even Schmier commented on the venue, saying it was the best venue they'd ever played in the UK. I couldn't agree more. 

Rich and I arrived after the first support band and we didn't have too long to wait until Enforcer took the stage. This is a band I know very little about, I certainly haven't heard any of their albums, but they were tremendously entertaining albeit there was something slightly parodyish about their performance. Maybe it's because they are so 'pretty' looking, somehow I can't take them quite seriously. But if you want to experience the glory of 80s metal in a live sitting performed with tons of energy and enthusiasm you couldn't do any better than to catch an Enforcer gig.

During the interval we headed to the merch stall and I finally got my hands on the 'Infernal Overkill' T shirt I've been after FOREVER - it even has the photos of the band from the album on the back. Perfect. And after a quick trip to the aforementioned 'functional' but plentiful toilets we headed back inside to see Whiplash soundchecking. People being people they tend to walk into the venue (the entrance is to the right) and just stop, so just by walking a few metres to the left you can find a big empty space to stand in - perfect. 

I was cautiously looking forward to seeing Whiplash again, but to be honest it was a bit of a disappointment. In the mayhem of the Underworld I could excuse some of their sloppy playing, especially since twice the punters pulled the cord out of Tony Portaro's guitar... but here in an extremely professional setting Whiplash were exposed as under-rehearsed (again). Honestly, I can't remember a band who fuck up their timing so badly so often. It's like it's the first time they've played the songs... I'm sure Razor would have been a million times better.

By contrast Destruction were a well oiled machine and put on a great show of crowd pleasers (Solar Fake take note). This was the band's 40th anniversary tour so the post reunion songs were kept to a minimum (Nailed to the Cross, The Butcher Strikes Back and Diabolical) leaving plenty of set time for tracks like Mad Butcher, Thrash Attack, Curse the Gods, Tormentor, Release from Agony, Life Without Sense, Eternal Ban, Antichrist and even Total Desaster from the 'Sentence of Death' EP. 

My only minor quibble really was with the guitar solos which deviated quite a lot from the recordings (admittedly neither of these guys played on any of the old albums) which is something I find slightly distracting, but still it was a powerful show and Schmier looked and sounded like a man half his age. 

VIDEOS: DESTRUCTION - NAILED TO THE CROSS/MAD BUTCHER   WHIPLASH - RED BOMB

GIG: Solar Fake (Manchester)

 

Unbelievably, it was five years ago that we last saw Solar Fake, a very memorable night at the Elektrowerkz in London. Since then of course, we've had the pandemic - and since it's nearly 2024 I guess we have to get used to things that were 'prepandemic' being about five years ago...

As Dad (in his infinite wisdom) used to say, you don't want to be going up the motorway on a Friday. Well, he was right of course, and just like last time we went to Manchester on a Friday, the journey up was HELL ON EARTH, only worse this time due to endless rain! It took 4 hours from leaving home to getting there, but at least we managed to find a parking space easily in the car park behind the venue. 

As is to be expected with these kind of gigs, there were plenty of 'interesting' people about, including the girl with the chicken hat, her friend with the spiky white leather jacket and the comedy collar, and of course 'Mr Green'.

We arrived to catch the last song of Auger's set, it sounded okay but nothing spectacular... a bloke in a kilt playing a guitar is literally all I can remember about it.

Thankfully the venue was less packed than when we saw Voivod earlier in the year, but that just meant more room for people to swing their FUCKING backpacks around. This is the one thing I FUCKING hate about electro gigs, fucking arseholes smacking their stupid fucking backpacks into me for the duration, it gave me instant flashbacks to Nachtmahr at Elektrowerkz (a gig that really was ruined for me by these twats).

Thankfully after moving about five times I managed to find a space to stand that wasn't infested by retards and I could enjoy the gig. And a fine gig it was too, albeit the setlist was a bit weak. Solar Fake have tons of really good songs throughout their catalogue, and so many were missing tonight. On the upside the band were great, being both entertaining and engaging with plenty of amusing banter coming from the stage.

We thought the journey home was sure to be better, and it was.... marginally. It only took 3.3/4 hours to get home, due to a stoppage on the motorway and flooding between home and the motorway. Still, 8 hours in the car for a 1 hour show seems reasonable, for a Friday, up the motorway. Never again! 

MEAL OUT: Grey Goose (Gilmorton)

Delayed because of 'Italian Night' at the Goose, we celebrated my 54th birthday a day late - but it was worth the wait. As always the fillet steak was cooked to perfection and when they brought my marshmallow topped brownie Tilly and Wendy sang 'Happy Birthday' to me... although they struggled a bit to remember my name at the crucial moment.

GIG: Moretallica (Nuneaton)

 

A Metallica cover band is not something that would normally fill me with glee, but seeing Moretallica 'Celebrating 40 Years of Kill Em All' was something that just couldn't be passed up. They were great, hitting the stage and tearing into 'Hit the Lights' and proceeding to play every song in order just as I'd hoped. The only slight dip was a rather lacklustre rendition of 'Anesthesia (Pulling Teeth)', but overall it was a fantastic performance that reminds one just how good Metallica once were.

After a short break they returned to play '72 Seasons', 'For Whom the Bell Tolls', 'Disposable Heroes' and 'The Unforgiven'... by which point we'd had enough and decided to head home. At least we didn't have to suffer the interminable 'Enter Sandman'.

VIDEO - METAL MILITIA

GIG: Pain (Birmingham)

It's been more than a few years since we'd seen Pain (the previous concert being in The Slade Rooms in Wolverhampton seven years ago!). Pain has been inactive in the meantime with Peter Tagtgren recording a Hypocrisy album and working on two albums with Rammsten frontman Till Lindemann. Given there's no new album to promote (only the 'Party in My Head' single) the set wasn't exactly a massive departure from previous Pain gigs and it was alright.

The sound was a bit shit to start with though, with the drums mixed way too high, but this improved after the first song. The video sections were okay, though they were more of a distraction for the most part. In the end I concluded that Pain have too many so-so songs in their repertoire and not enough genuine bangers. 

The journey to Birmingham was a pain in the arse too, with half the roads shut to traffic... oddly when we came out it was very simple so why the bloody Sat Nav couldn't have sent us in that way I don't know. Unfortunately, the journey home went south as soon as we reached the motorway, with the slip road shut we had to turn left onto the M6 North and after a 20 mile 'there and back' we realised it wasn't just the slip road that was shut... and so we queued to get off the motorway and take the meandering diversion home - which took 2 hours and 15mins. Wonderful.

Oh and before I forget, when I got there I was talking to a guy with blond hair who showed me a patch he'd bought for one of the support bands and who then promptly turned his feet backwards and walked off... odd people Brummies.

HOLIDAY: Lincoln

 

For our 30th wedding anniversary we decided to spend the night away in Lincoln, something we hadn't done for over 5 years (staying away overnight!). Perhaps revisiting the Doubletree Hilton in Lincoln wasn't the best place to do this as last time we tried to stay there we ended up coming home at 2am due to a noisy air conditioning unit. Which is a shame because it's a nice hotel and so convenient having the Electric Bar cocktail lounge and Marco Pierre White restaurant all under one roof.

At least you know you get a cookie, and we devoured ours on arrival even though it hadn't been that long since we'd been to Bunty's tea room, but hey it was a long time until dinner!

The room was nice, though the beds weren't the most comfortable (as it transpired) and the sheets ending up being very noisy meaning that you couldn't move for fear of waking each other up. Honestly they might as well stitch together some dried leaves if that's the effect they're going for.

I noticed the sink was leaking too, but I waited to tell them until the next morning as I couldn't be arsed to move room and I didn't want them sending people up to the room to fix it.

We arrived earlier and parked down the road in the multi-story car park, then headed to Bunties to grab lunch before visiting the museum. However, when we arrived Bunty's was shut, even though it should have been open. I looked on their Facebook page and it said 10:30am but there was no one home. So, irritated, we wandered down the hill and headed into a converted chapel called 'The Rest' where we had a rather mediocre bacon bap. Nice bacon, but the cheapest, whitest, 10p bap you could possibly imagine. Semi-satisfied we left and ventured further down the hill and investigated the Art Gallery (where some small children had been brought to cry, inevitably).

There were a few interesting things on display here, a few nice artworks and clocks, but I have to say Grayson Perry's ceramic vases were a bit shit. Well, a lot shit actually...

Having 'done' the Gallery we headed across the road to the Museum where there was a series of Grayson Perry 'tapestries' on display. They were quite interesting/good, but they looked less like tapestries and more like oversized rugs to me, but I guess that's semantics.

After that we headed back up the hill in the hope that Bunty's had somehow miraculously opened in the meantime and lo and behold it had! Our joy was palpable and we had two very nice cakes (lemon and vegan chocolate) before having a quick scout around the town and collecting our cases and heading to the hotel.

As expected the cocktails and meal were excellent, albeit my 'Apple Pie' cocktail was a bit much on top of the sticky toffee pudding I had already eaten. I preferred the Pornstar Martini mocktail I had before dinner if I'm honest, though it seemed a bit mean to give me a soda water chaser instead of the Elderflower cordial I had last time.

We returned to the room and watches the first half of 'The Exorcist' before attempting to get sleep. Well that didn't work and we managed probably two hours sleep between 5 and 7. I wish we'd just driven home like we did before, I'd have happily had two mocktails... but no, we tried, we failed and then we had breakfast - which was okay.

Rather than just driving straight home we had decided to visit the Grantham 'designer outlet', which I can't help thinking was a little bit misdescribed.... Bicester Village it is not. It is where old people go to buy end of line clothes, pillows and other stuff. It's not even particularly cheap, honestly. But I was excited to pick up the first Lindt Santa of 2023. All in all, we returned home very tired and a little underwhelmed.

At least Bunty's Tea Room delivered (eventually) and the meal and cocktails were excellent, but in future I think we'll save ourselves the cost of the room and buy our own cookie.